Summer has definitively arrived here in the Kootenays, after a particularly long cloudy winter.  It’s been really beautiful the last while, making it a pleasure to be out in the yard. 

Loving to garden and develop our understanding of growing food, this year we are expanding the existing raised bed garden that’s great for growing tomatoes, tomatillos, eggplant and peppers, due to its protected south exposure.  We’ve also just created a new garden plot on the west side of the yard, which I’ve just about finished planting.  Bernard researched fencing options (there are deer, so we need to have a fence), phoned around for the best deals and organized to have a local fellow with a market garden come with his tractor to dig up the new area for us.  We seem to have lucked upon a good spot with pretty nice soil to start out with. 

When it comes to growing our own food we know a little and have much to learn.  Two years ago, in addition to the other vegetables,  we had a bit of a tomato project, growing about 30 different varieties, saving seed, seeing which grew well here.  Last year it was pole beans.  This year little plots of millet, amaranth, hulless barley and quinoa are milling with the carrots and cabbages in the new garden.  A bunch of fruit bushes have been planted this year too: black and red currants, hardy kiwi, saskatoons, and gooseberries so far.  We have big plans, but only one body that can do the physical work necessary, so it takes time.  Hiring someone to come dig out the garden was a big help, and keeping the deer fence light and simple for now was also the most practical thing to do. 

My mother gave us an outdoor lounger last year that’s made for two people and can lay down flat when needed. This allows Bernard, on his better days, to make his way carefully outside to get some sun and enjoy the beautiful yard and forest.  The lounger has a great view of the new garden too.  This is crucial to staying positive when he has so much pain and uncertainty about ever being healed. 

Summer reminds me that life goes on, even when you’re living with a terrible injury.  We try to do at least some of the things we love, because it certainly doesn’t help to get down and sit in the house on a beautiful day.  Even though, I must say, it’s weird to be doing ‘normal’ things when really we are in a crisis.  It’s like that with everything I do.  I know it’s good to do what we can and enjoy ourselves, but then I find it crazy that we aren’t just screaming and crying at the insanity of it all.

[Nkole:}

New Year’s Eve.  Bernard is not feeling too well tonight.  A terribly sore belly from all the meds he’s been having to take.  He’s sleeping…also a medication side effect. 

I, on the other hand, am very awake and quite tipsy. The cause is a delicious Italian Prosecco from Villa Teresa that I’ve been drinking, while watching the old movie ‘When Harry Met Sally” on the TV, and giggling at the kitten as she tries to catch the big green and purple balloons lying all over the floor. (from Bernard’s birthday party)  Bernard received a ‘BlueTooth’ keyboard and mouse for his b-day.  This means he won’t have to deal with so many cords when he’s using the computer while lying down, a minor but ever present hassle.  He was also given a little robotic insect, and a heater for germinating seeds. 

 Here are the little cakes, made in the spirit of Dutch gebakjes, that I baked for him. 

Poor little cakes!  Last night we put them onto the deck to stay cold. (The fridge is completely full of festive foods.)  A very large raccoon came onto the deck in the late evening and overturned the container holding the remaining treatlettes.  Not that we won’t eat them, because we will!

The doctor’s office called today, to let us know that Dr. M will phone as soon as a bed opens up at the Nelson hospital.  Then Bernard will be taken by ambulance to have new testing done and hopefully, hopefully, hopefully will be treated well and receive an accurate diagnosis. 

We’ve had such poor experiences with specialists!!  It’ll take many other posts to get into that.  At least this new doctor, and the health nurse, are getting things going again. 

The problem is that no one here in British Columbia performs the modern (meaning lumbar disc replacement and/or endoscopic) back surgeries.  Or if they do, we’ve been unable to locate them.  Few surgeons in Canada are trained in the new techniques either, and if they are, they’ve just started recently and are still working on simpler cases.  Most back surgeons in Canada are decades behind the cutting edge in lumbar surgery techniques.  Bernard has put it another way…

“It is not a question of the techniques not having evolved.  Of course there have been gradual advances in the traditional techniques within the existing structure.  The problem is that the existing standard model is grossly oversimplified and insufficient.  And, at a deeper level, the entire framework of understanding the human body in general and the lower back in particular is insufficient.”  

Not that other countries have it all figured out.  Far from it.  But Canada is just so far behind that it’s ridiculous.  If Bernard can get the right tests done, and done well, then there will be a chance to go somewhere else for treatment.  That’s what my optimistic side says, anyway.

Not an exciting end to 2008, but that’s ok.  Maybe it’s the drink talking, but at this moment I’m looking forward to the coming year.
 
Happy 2009 y’all!

 
[Nkole:] 

What a lovely few days we’ve had! A break from anxiety and fear about the future. Some time to just be happy with our life.

I’m off work until January 2nd, so we’ve been able to really relax, take naps, enjoy copious good food and feel a little optimistic about the future.

Just before Christmas I talked with the medical clinic here on the East Shore. We came up with a new plan for getting Bernard updated testing and, hopefully, a clear, comprehensive diagnosis. Since he can no longer travel in the old Jeep, we had been a little desperate for a new approach and some assistance.

As soon as hospital staffing is back to normal, after New Years, Bernard will be taken by ambulance to the hospital in Nelson. Our East Shore physician, Dr. M, says he will book all the tests he’s able to, and Bernard will likely have to be sent to Trail, BC for some of them, half an hour from Nelson. Then the doctor will call in the local specialist who can look at the X-ray and CAT scan and will, hopefully, decide to have a new MRI taken.

Since we can’t do any of that at this moment, we have only to relax and try a little fun.

Bernard and I are living in my parents’ home, having worked out a suitable arrangement.  We live on the lower floor, while mom and dad are upstairs. We cook together, and generally, surprisingly, get along well. They’ve helped us so much. I don’t know what we would have done if they hadn’t welcomed us here.  I do what I can to keep the household going too, mowing the lawn, stacking wood, cooking, and now, snow blowing us out of the latest snowstorm.

My younger brother, Ryan, came home for a few days, from Calgary. So, we were all together, chilling out and eating far too much! Christmas Eve we made pizza, played with the kitten and watched some television. Then, in the morning we drank champagne with orange juice, coffee, and ate fruit buns while sitting in front of the wood stove opening presents. On Boxing Day we made a delicious turkey with all the traditional fixings, and enjoyed the festive moment. For this meal we pulled the dining table near to the bed where Bernard mostly must lie and had a slightly more formal dining experience. It was pretty, delicious and fun.

Ryan left back for the city this morning, after we shovelled a path through the heavy snow. Bernard and the kitten are now cozied up in bed napping as The Sound of Music plays on CBC television. Just good feelings all around.

New Years approaches, and with it the typical sense of new possibilities. Bernard’s 40th birthday is in a couple days too, and though he’s not impressed with that thought at the moment, we’ll try to have a fun time and make the best of this little homey holiday.

We’ve got a tiny new kitten.  She’s half Manx, semi-longhaired, tortoise shell and ridiculously cute in a wild, deranged sort of way.  A little whirlwind.  We’ve had her five days and she hasn’t quite gotten a name yet.  The list is at 20 possibilities and growing.  When she was wordlessly placed on my chest my first impression was of a tiny scruffy hyena-monkey.  (That hasn’t changed much.)  As I’m alone much of the day while Nkole is at work, and am greatly restricted in my mobility, she surprised me with what she hoped would be a sweet little companion. 

Five days in, the kitty has indeed proven to be quite affectionate, sometimes aggressively so.  She’s getting used to her strength and her claws and teeth.  So the fact that I’m lying down means I’ve got to learn a little cat psychology and set a few boundaries.  I can’t say I’m much of a disciplinarian, but I feel within my rights to draw the line at claws-out face climbing. 

Much of the time she’s pressed up tight beside me or nestled snugly in the crook of my elbow.  But her favourite position is curled up on my chest or perched confidently on my shoulder as I rest on my side.  This must be her Manxiness.  We’ve read that they are powerful jumpers, and are often to be found perched at the highest point in any room.  For now, though, she prefers to stay very close and warm.