[Nicole:]

Despair isn’t helpful.  Rather, it slows down any progress that could be made.  But I’m unable to avoid the occasional bout of despair as we try to get Bernard some decent help. 

 
This week I’ve been really down about our situation.  I cried at work, on the phone to my friend Kath, with Bernard, and I have basically been grouchy and sad. 

 
Bernard is declining fast.  He now has constant pain even with painkillers.  He is unable to walk or sit, and we need to get him a new MRI (Magnetic Resonance Imaging).  The last one he had was over two and a half years ago, and his injury has worsened substantially since then.

 
At that time we were in Calgary, Bernard was still working and we even went sailing on occasion, at the Glenmore reservoir in our tiny little sea monkey of a boat called ‘Zee Aapje’.  That seems to have been a whole other lifetime.  Now our days transpire in and around a queen sized bed, and though we try our best to have fun and enjoy life, it has not been at all easy lately.

 
So… he needs a new MRI and other tests too.  We live seven hours from the nearest specialist, who is in Kelowna.  Bernard can no longer travel in my parents’ Jeep, so that makes getting anywhere very difficult.  I’ve been trying to get him help, applying for programs and going to the doctor without him.  This isn’t going to work now.  He needs to be reassessed, and soon. 

 
Our plan was to skip the long waiting list that tends to be a part of getting an MRI, not to mention the difficult trip to yet another specialist just to get on the MRI list.  And, I don’t think we could handle another old school specialist being hasty and indifferent and telling us nothing new.  Instead, we’ve been saving money to go have the MRI from a private clinic.  Our doctor in Nelson said he could book us at one of the private clinics right away. (Family physicians in British Columbia can’t book publicly funded MRI’s.) 

 
But this comes with all sorts of other difficulties.  For example, the closest clinic is in Kelowna, or across the border into the States.  So, it’s either a 7 hour drive to Kelowna in the winter, or a three and a half hour trip to Spokane, WA.  How to get a vehicle that he could travel in?  Borrow?  Barter?  I don’t have a credit card to rent a vehicle with, a fact I now really regret.  And the legality of travelling with him lying in the back of a borrowed vehicle across the U.S. Canada border is also iffy. 

 
I’ve just called Mary, our East Shore health nurse, this morning.  She’s a caring person who may have some advice about what we should do.  Do we call the ambulance and try out the public medical system once again?  They would take him to Cranbrook, nearly three hours from here.  Would they book him for the necessary tests right away and send him on to Calgary for this, or simply send him home with stronger painkillers and another appointment months away?  Who knows.

 
As well, we are going to write a letter to the two specialists we know.  Maybe if we update them on the circumstances, they will consider booking an emergency MRI without Bernard having to make a trip to see them first.  Worth a try… nothing to lose… nada nada nada…  

Backyard Crimson

Hi! My name is Bernard, and I have a lower back injury. My partner Nkole and I are writing this blog to share our daily experience of living with this injury, and the process of trying to get appropriate help.

I’m eager to get better and optimistic that that is possible.

Right now there are some substantial obstacles between me and that goal. Some of those challenges are logistical, and financial, though the most daunting is often the lack of information and the generally poor state of medical knowledge when it comes to back care.

I require surgery and will almost certainly have to travel outside of the country for it, since good options are not to be found here at present. This considerably increases the probable expense and difficulty.