I recently joined a back forum called iSpine. 

They have articles, a lending library, and, most impressively, a forum for spine patients.  This online community is full of people with serious experience in spine surgeries, pain, specialists, overseas medical travel, medications, old and new techniques, doctors with excellent reputations, and anything else related to back injury and back pain.  Few people can understand living with severe chronic pain, which can be very isolating, so I am heartened to finally find a gathering of people who do understand.  Highly recommended!  

Happy New Year!  Hopefully 2010 will be a good one for you.  I certainly feel optimistic about it personally.  Whether that’s due to the nice weather we’ve been having, the diligence I’ve had lately in taking my vitamins and exercising, or something else entirely, I’ll take it, none the less.

I’m currently researching a few topics that will be posted shortly; caregiver fatigue, new technologies in the treatment of back pain, and chemical causes of nerve pain.  In the meantime, I thought I’d send an encouraging word about giving to start off this new decade.

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.                                       

                                                             -Winston Churchill  

Sometimes we can get wrapped up in our daily struggles, and forget where we are truly and magnificently fortunate.  It takes practise to remember the good things we have, and repeated effort to get into the habit of helping others.  Despite all the difficulties, most of us here in Canada have plenty of wonderful good fortune too.  Good friends, a wonderful place to live, a beautiful view, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg for Bernard and I.  Take a moment every so often to remember what you have that is good.  It increases happiness and also makes us better humans, because when we appreciate our own luck, we also tend to be more caring about other people’s misfortune.

The new year has certainly brought misfortune to the people of Haiti, and to all their friends and family in other countries who grieve or worry.  I hope you’ll step out of your own life for a moment and give what you can to a charity that will assist the people of Haiti. 

The Red Cross is a personal favorite because of their good work and non-religious base.  Most Canadian banks are now accepting donations for The Canadian Red Cross Haiti fund.  Donations can also be made online or by calling or mailing a cheque.  The Canadian government will match any funds that you donate to a recognized organization until February 15, as long as you specify that the money is for the Haiti Earthquake relief.

Here we are, once again.  Winter time. 

Snowy beauty this morning in the mountains as I shoveled the driveway and a path around to the back of the house.  Bernard isn’t able to have these glorious outdoor moments right now, stuck in bed as he is, and I worry about that. 

We all get a lot less sunlight at this time of year, in this part of the world.  The rates of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) run between 2-3% of the population here in Canada, with a milder form of the problem, Subsyndromal Seasonal Affective Disorder up even higher, around 15%.  Even on this bright snow day, clouds cover the sun and prevent it from entering my eyes directly.  Luckily, the snow reflects the available light and I received a good dose of the light stuff.  Bernard is pretty much stuck inside for most of this season, and this could dampen his mood and energy as well as his circadian rhythm.  Researchers think that lack of sunlight can affect our internal clocks, changing the timing of hormones and causing the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder. 

The Canadian Mental Health Association sites the symptoms common to SAD:

change in appetite
cravings for sweet or starchy foods
weight gain
decreased energy
fatigue
oversleeping
difficulty concentrating
irritability
avoidance of social situations
feelings of anxiety and despair

Obviously you should follow the advice of your doctor in treating symptoms  that seem like SAD.  One of the main treatments for these seasonal symptoms, and to correct mussed up circadian rhythms is light therapy.  Last month, in preparation for the winter ahead, I researched and purchased a full spectrum light.

There are a number of companies and types of lamps to choose from (if you’re ordering online).  I went with the ‘Day Light’ from Uplift Technologies, mostly because it was available in town and was on sale.  It’s about 18″ tall by 12″ wide, with three high quality non-flickering flourescent bulbs which emit 10 000 lux at 12″ away, with negligable ultraviolet radiation. 

10 000 lux is generally used for light therapy.  If you use a weaker light, or you are located farther away, then the light is much less effective.  This is because light intensity is inversely proportional to the square of the distance (meaning: if you double the distance, you only get one quarter the light, or lux, and if you triple the distance you only get one ninth!). 

Some examples of illuminance 

• Full moon overhead at tropical latitudes = 1 lux
• Office lighting = 320-500 lux
• Overcast day = 1000 lux
• Direct sunlight = 32,000-120,000 lux!

Our experience with the light has been positive.  Bernard feels it can initially stress him out with its intensity, but that mostly it makes everything brighter and more cheerful.  I’ve been using it mornings while I have coffee and sit at the computer.  And, once I get over the initial shock of brightness, it’s wonderfully refreshing.  I’m a little bit light drunk by the time I’m done.

Since it’s very difficult for Bernard to get to the doctor’s office, I go and talk with our physician on his behalf.  This works - for things like paperwork and prescription refills. 

Sometimes however, real physical tests must occur, so last week the local health nurse came to the house to do some blood work.  It’s great that they can do this, and I’m thankful that our local clinic helps us facilitate these things.  Unfortunately, the tests show that Bernard has some other health issues that need attention.  This will likely mean more medication and/or vitamins to take, something that’s been quite difficult lately because pain meds are so hard on the stomach.  But, at least we’re aware of the situation now and can try to remedy the problem. 

It must be very very difficult for disabled people to get the health care that we all require if they don’t have an advocate to help the process along.  Even with assistance from me, there are some things, like eye care for instance, that are being neglected with Bernard because we haven’t figured out the logistics.  The system is not set up to accomodate this type of disability.  And oh boy B really needs new glasses!

Bernard wore contacts for years, but that’s too difficult right now, so he’s wearing a rather tatty old pair of large, 80’s style specs that are so incrediably far out that they’re almost back in!  I’m sick of having to look through them to see my sweetie!!  

null

Bernard claims that they’re good glasses.

 ”…they have so much lens to look out of, more lens bang for your buck!” 

I say they’re only good for a laugh.  Seriously though, the prescription badly needs updating, so a new pair would be a ‘two birds with one stone’ kind of deal.  I’m going to go to one of the local Optometrists and see if we can figure something out, though I don’t think there is an easy answer to this.

Anyways, I just think it’s hard for people who are hurt and alone to get the health care that they need.  Maybe you know someone needing a bit of help getting to where they need to go, or figuring out a different way to get the health care they require.

Here’s a link to the Canadian government website for people with disabilities.  Answer a few questions, and the benefit finder will locate all the programs and services available to you.  Quite helpful.

null

Summer has definitively arrived here in the Kootenays, after a particularly long cloudy winter.  It’s been really beautiful the last while, making it a pleasure to be out in the yard. 

Loving to garden and develop our understanding of growing food, this year we are expanding the existing raised bed garden that’s great for growing tomatoes, tomatillos, eggplant and peppers, due to its protected south exposure.  We’ve also just created a new garden plot on the west side of the yard, which I’ve just about finished planting.  Bernard researched fencing options (there are deer, so we need to have a fence), phoned around for the best deals and organized to have a local fellow with a market garden come with his tractor to dig up the new area for us.  We seem to have lucked upon a good spot with pretty nice soil to start out with. 

When it comes to growing our own food we know a little and have much to learn.  Two years ago, in addition to the other vegetables,  we had a bit of a tomato project, growing about 30 different varieties, saving seed, seeing which grew well here.  Last year it was pole beans.  This year little plots of millet, amaranth, hulless barley and quinoa are milling with the carrots and cabbages in the new garden.  A bunch of fruit bushes have been planted this year too: black and red currants, hardy kiwi, saskatoons, and gooseberries so far.  We have big plans, but only one body that can do the physical work necessary, so it takes time.  Hiring someone to come dig out the garden was a big help, and keeping the deer fence light and simple for now was also the most practical thing to do. 

My mother gave us an outdoor lounger last year that’s made for two people and can lay down flat when needed. This allows Bernard, on his better days, to make his way carefully outside to get some sun and enjoy the beautiful yard and forest.  The lounger has a great view of the new garden too.  This is crucial to staying positive when he has so much pain and uncertainty about ever being healed. 

Summer reminds me that life goes on, even when you’re living with a terrible injury.  We try to do at least some of the things we love, because it certainly doesn’t help to get down and sit in the house on a beautiful day.  Even though, I must say, it’s weird to be doing ‘normal’ things when really we are in a crisis.  It’s like that with everything I do.  I know it’s good to do what we can and enjoy ourselves, but then I find it crazy that we aren’t just screaming and crying at the insanity of it all.

Do you have chronic lower back pain, degenerative disc disease, spondylolithesis, or another lower back problem that hasn’t been properly diagnosed or treated?   How has the injury affected your life?  How have you been treated by doctors, friends, family, or co-workers?  What therapies have been tried?  Tell us about your life with a serious lower back injury.

 
[Nkole:] 

What a lovely few days we’ve had! A break from anxiety and fear about the future. Some time to just be happy with our life.

I’m off work until January 2nd, so we’ve been able to really relax, take naps, enjoy copious good food and feel a little optimistic about the future.

Just before Christmas I talked with the medical clinic here on the East Shore. We came up with a new plan for getting Bernard updated testing and, hopefully, a clear, comprehensive diagnosis. Since he can no longer travel in the old Jeep, we had been a little desperate for a new approach and some assistance.

As soon as hospital staffing is back to normal, after New Years, Bernard will be taken by ambulance to the hospital in Nelson. Our East Shore physician, Dr. M, says he will book all the tests he’s able to, and Bernard will likely have to be sent to Trail, BC for some of them, half an hour from Nelson. Then the doctor will call in the local specialist who can look at the X-ray and CAT scan and will, hopefully, decide to have a new MRI taken.

Since we can’t do any of that at this moment, we have only to relax and try a little fun.

Bernard and I are living in my parents’ home, having worked out a suitable arrangement.  We live on the lower floor, while mom and dad are upstairs. We cook together, and generally, surprisingly, get along well. They’ve helped us so much. I don’t know what we would have done if they hadn’t welcomed us here.  I do what I can to keep the household going too, mowing the lawn, stacking wood, cooking, and now, snow blowing us out of the latest snowstorm.

My younger brother, Ryan, came home for a few days, from Calgary. So, we were all together, chilling out and eating far too much! Christmas Eve we made pizza, played with the kitten and watched some television. Then, in the morning we drank champagne with orange juice, coffee, and ate fruit buns while sitting in front of the wood stove opening presents. On Boxing Day we made a delicious turkey with all the traditional fixings, and enjoyed the festive moment. For this meal we pulled the dining table near to the bed where Bernard mostly must lie and had a slightly more formal dining experience. It was pretty, delicious and fun.

Ryan left back for the city this morning, after we shovelled a path through the heavy snow. Bernard and the kitten are now cozied up in bed napping as The Sound of Music plays on CBC television. Just good feelings all around.

New Years approaches, and with it the typical sense of new possibilities. Bernard’s 40th birthday is in a couple days too, and though he’s not impressed with that thought at the moment, we’ll try to have a fun time and make the best of this little homey holiday.

My dear friend Elena is travelling.  Peru, Ecuador, Columbia….  She’s so little I can’t help worrying about her!  But much like Nkole, Elena has a practical boldness that always seems to carry her through.  And she’s so friendly and so little that people, I think, can’t help but help her.  (I’ve always had the challenging mix of largeness and shyness.) 

Now Elena’s a sweetie.  And she knows I’m not well.  Soooo… she’s sent me a package.  I’ve been anticipating it for weeks… well, months, really, long before it was mailed!  And now, here it is!  Yesterday it came - a mid-sized box just plastered with stamps.  I love stamps… and presents… and parcels in the mail… and the scent of exotic faraway places! 

- Next time: What’s inside?